Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just found a bag of teeth...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize