you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
