I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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