I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
