I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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