Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
