I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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