Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
