weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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