I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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