Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i think i just lost a toe
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize