Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
