will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
