Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
