Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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