I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
