is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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