Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
NoShamevember. You game?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize