the condom got lost in my hair
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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