Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
