dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
