Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
