Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
