We got so high we made milksteak
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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