maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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