week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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