My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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