Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
