why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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