Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize