Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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