I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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