ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
