Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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