have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
