Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
