oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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