I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
