The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
