when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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