I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
