I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
