singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
