So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
