foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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