I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
