why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
birth control should be required to get into college
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
