Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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