I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
