I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
