It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
