Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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