i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
