so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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