used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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