Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
