her vagine was all disorganized.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Randomize