id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
