last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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