So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
