i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my sisters under your porch take her home
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
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