Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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