Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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