I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Apparently you make a good broom.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
