He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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