Soap is not a condiment
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
