She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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