Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we're making bets on your personal life
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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