Who wears a wallet chain?!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
it's like heaven, but drunker
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
