I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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