Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize