She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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